Childhood trauma.

I just turned 43 this year. Still single. Now living alone. Madami ng failed relationship... I always wonder why. Ginawa ko naman ang lahat. Andami ko ng binago sa ugali ko pero anong mali sakin? Bakit ganito ako? Until I saw a reels sa FB na maybe it has something to do with your childhood trauma. And it does... I was bullied by my siblings. Normal naman un diba? As a middle child, I'm always the "neglected child". I tried to be patient. I tried to be the good child. But what I don't understand is why my own mother bullied me as well. Why? I asked Chatgpt. Sinabi ko lahat ng situation ko growing up... And then dun ko narealized, I grew up with a narcissist mother. Lumaki pala akong takot mag isa, kaya at the age of 42, nakatira pa din ako sa bahay ng mother ko. Akala ko normal lang satin yun na mga Pilipino. Pero normal ba na everytime tumanggi ako sa gusto nya, sasabihan ako na "lumayas ka!"? Lumaki pala akong walang confident sa sarili. Kase kung sarili kong mother minamaliit kakayanan ko, kelan pko magiging confident sa sarili ko? Lumaki pala akong people pleaser. Kaya pla akala ko ako lagi ang may mali. Na kelangan ko galingan. Kase buong buhay ko, nakikipagcompete ako sa attention ng mother ko. So tama, lumaki ako at tumandang ganito, unknowingly because of my childhood trauma...na nakuha ko sa sarili kong pamilya. It's been a year, I moved out of her house. I cut all the ties with my family. I live alone with my two cats and 1 senior dog. Takot. Hindi alam ang gagawin. Tama ba ang desisyon ko?