Walking slow

I am anxious because I keep thinking about the ig suggestion I got. It was the guy I was in a situationship with for 10 months. How things ended between us really hurt me. It happened 3 months ago. He was using datings apps and I saw a notif in one of the screenshots he sent me. It crushed me. The nail on the coffin was when he mistakenly created a gc with me and another girl he was talking to. I checked that girl's ig and he was liking all her posts. These things happened on the same day in a span of 4 hours. I was headed home and it got me tearing up in public transpo. Then he asked me if I had gotten home. I wanted to breakdown. For so long I wished for that kind of sweetness. He did it on the day I decided I couldn't take being on the backburner anymore. I want to forget what he said when I told him I noticed he was on fb dating based on the screenshot he sent. But I can't erase it in my mind. He said the people there were inactive like it was supposed to give me some comfort. I said I never tried getting on there or any app while we were talking. But, I see now how dumb that statement was. Who cares if I remained loyal? Why did it seem, like, for a second there, I was expected to think nothing of it? Was I being gaslit then? I want to forgive myself but right now, it's harder than before. Hopefully, anyone who has ever felt this way would find some comfort soon. We're on this Earth for a limited time and we need to experience the beauty of it that's in front of us. Crying secretly, tearing up in public transpo, and not being able to finish your food because of someone's insincerity aren't things we should let ourselves experience for long. Hope those that need freedom find the courage to fight for it.

• Situationship
• Heartbreak