My ex-boyfriend used Bumble to look for a "friend"

Question

Is that a normal behavior? He said, whenever he's suicidal, it's either he unalives himself or use Bumble to look for someone to talk to. Is that a good coping mechanism or is he just using this excuse to gaslight me?

I found out during our on and off relationship, during the off times, he would use Bumble to look for girls. They went out to eat, go for a run, and whatever I didn't ask anymore. Confronted him many times (whenever I had a suspicion) and now I confirmed that he has been using Bumble.

LetMeC · Answer

Nope. When he's suicidal and is looking for someone to talk to, he should talk to a therapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist.

The cost of paying for a professional monthly might be equal sa gagastusin niya pang-date with girls he meets sa Bumble. Kahit pa walang food cost kasi jog lang naman daw. Add niya cost ng transpo/gas/parking to-from labas with girls. Plus any cost related to STD (condoms aren't free 'no).

How about you? How are you now?

ShineSalt · Answer

I do not intend to invalidate the "suicidal", pero kung yung coping mechanism niya is using other people, tingin ko ginagamit niya nalang na excuse yon para lang makatikim ng iba.

ifyouseeKai · Answer

RedFlag!!🚩

Crinkles · Answer

Girl he's definitely a cheater. He was just gaslighting you.

nightowl · Answer

Girl, red flag, don't listen to his excuses. Better yet trust your instints that will be your weapon...

Abing · Answer

Sometimes, the hardest part isn’t what happened, it’s trying to make sense of it. You find yourself going back and forth, replaying conversations, weighing his explanations against his actions, wondering if you’re being too understanding or not understanding enough. There are moments that feel okay, even reassuring, but underneath that, there’s a quiet unease that never fully goes away. That unease comes from the mismatch. Words may offer comfort, but it’s the repeated actions that tell a clearer story. And when those actions keep crossing your boundaries, even after they’ve been talked about, it slowly chips away at your sense of security. You may still care about him, and part of you may want to believe that his reasons make sense, that his struggles explain everything. But caring about someone doesn’t mean you have to carry the weight of their choices, especially when those choices hurt you. Understanding him doesn’t require you to ignore yourself. At some point, it becomes less about figuring him out and more about listening to what you’ve been feeling all along. Because the truth is, the right kind of relationship won’t leave you constantly questioning, adjusting, or doubting your own boundaries just to keep the peace. And when something keeps making you feel unsettled, that feeling isn’t something to silence, it’s something to trust.

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My ex-boyfriend used Bumble to look for a "friend"

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My ex-boyfriend used Bumble to look for a "friend"