Ako lang ba?

As a very emotional person, I can’t help but wonder if there’s anyone in my life who would truly understand me. I always think about what they would think if I suddenly broke down in front of them. I honestly don’t know what it feels like to open up to someone without feeling pressure or judgment. I keep wondering what it’s like to cry and let everything out to someone. My tears fall every time, because I know I don’t have the courage. I feel like I have no one, even though I have friends who are willing to listen. I just can’t, because I don’t want them to see me vulnerable. But at the same time, I hate myself for being so fragile. Most of the time, my only way of dealing with all of this is to be alone, cry alone, and allow myself to feel the sadness. I tend to detach. Most of the people in my life wouldn’t understand, because it’s far from the version of myself, the mask that I’ve shown them. I recently deleted one of my Facebook accounts and started replying coldly to people, because I thought that’s who I am.

• Rant
• Sadness
• Emotional