"My Hyper Independence"

I was in an accident that made me realize that my childhood traumas continue to imprison me and I still struggle to heal my inner child. My flesh was cut so deep but I did not scream, cry or ask for help. I just silently suffered until people noticed. When strangers decided to help me and my blood started to stream from my wounds, I just quietly walked towards our office clinic to seek medical help. I did not run to my mother or any friend. I just went straight to a professional for help. I walked straight and strong only to collapse crying in the clinic chair surrounded by strangers. As a child, I was taught to be strong, to be independent and reliable, to not seek help or any form of comfort from any family member or stranger. If I ever was in pain or struggling, I faced it alone. I was shamed or scolded if I tried to ask for help or advice. Looking back, I realized that it was not a loving environment for a child. I don’t know how to heal from my hyper independence. Until now, I still prefer to do things by myself and not rely on anyone. The fact that it is the people around me who continues to rely on me makes me angry.