college student trying to start my own path

at my age, i can feel the rush of doing better at everything. i try different things and now i feel overwhelmed. i woke up with group chats from different side of me—business and academic. sometimes i feel inspired, sometimes i feel pressured. it's really hard trying to live a life that is way beyond my means. i'm tired of ignoring what i want since i was a kid because we're not finacially stable. i just want to feel that i'm alive and calm.