Hi, just a life update

Been a week since me and the ex parted ways and it went so ugly.. there were some days that i allow myself to cry/grieve so much😭 but i keep myself busy and strong in front of my family and i'm not ready to tell them about my problem but when i entered my room at night, it felt so empty, i feel so empty because i sometimes think of him at night sleeping beside me, i even cry on his shirt that he left at the dresser there's this longing in my heart that i can't explain🥺 I sometimes asked God "Why me? Why he choose to hurt me instead of loving me?😭