I lost myself loving you.

I was in a relationship for almost three years. At first, it felt like the kindest kind of love. We were each other’s first, and both families knew about us. Everything felt pure and simple. We were happy just enjoying the little things together. Then life had different plans. He had to stop going to school and start working because of financial problems. I never had an issue with that. In fact, I supported him. I even pulled some strings to help him get a job at a BPO company since I knew someone there. He would ask me for patience, saying, “Please bear with me, I’m sorry.” And I did. I never asked for more than what he could give. I was patient. I was understanding. I rarely got mad, especially when it came to him. He was so good at pretending that I didn’t even realize he was already cheating. A friend of his sister saw him at the mall with another girl. When I confronted him, he said she was “just a coworker.” Then he shifted the conversation, talking about how life was hard for him, how he felt like he was failing, and how he didn’t want to hurt me because he couldn’t give more to the relationship. So I gave him space. I gave him understanding. I gave him everything he asked for. But there was another girl. He changed. He wasn’t the same man I loved anymore. He kept lying and played the victim. What he did felt so unfair — so unjust. And that’s when I realized something painful: I lost myself loving him. I bottled up my emotions because if I got mad, he would get mad. I stopped wearing certain clothes because he didn’t like them. I stayed quiet to keep the peace. I dimmed my own light just so he could shine. I lost my spark loving him. But now, I’m free. I’m finding myself again — healing, growing, and glowing in faith. Slowly, little by little, I am learning how to forgive. Process by process. And this time, my promise this to myself: Ibabalik kita ng buong-buo. I will bring myself back whole again. 🤍

• Storytoshare